Incorporating a Handfasting Into Your Ceremony

Meb McMahon
Oct 21
3 min read

To have and to hold — quite literally. This handfasting ceremony script is designed for officiants and couples who want a meaningful, inclusive, and beautifully worded ritual. Whether your ceremony is traditional, interfaith, or modern, these words help you tie the knot — with both intention and grace.

Photo credit to Ceotha Handfasting (ceotha.com) — *Photo credit to Ceotha Handfasting (ceotha.com*)

What comes first: the Vows or the Handfasting?

There's no right or wrong answer — it's entirely your choice. Since handfasting is an element of your vows, you can incorporate it either before or after you exchange your promises.

Traditionally, handfasting occurred before the exchange of rings, and in some cases, the handfasting itself served as "the rings." Talk with your officiant about your preferences to create a ceremony flow that feels meaningful to you.

How should the cords be tied?

Again, there is no right or wrong way. Different officiants may have different approaches to the way they tie the rope or the words that are used.

The couple usually either hold both hands crossed in front of each other or hold one opposite hand each (like shaking hands) – although I have also seen ceremonies where the partners simply stand next to each other and hold each other’s closest hand.

How you hold your hands and arms is entirely up to you, but be certain to share with your officiant if you have a preferred method for tying the cords and be sure to practice with your officiant before the ceremony!

Handfasting cord symbolism

Some couples choose the colour of their handfasting cords (or different strands of the cord) based on the meaning attributed to particular colours. However, it is equally legitimate to simply choose a colour scheme you just happen to like, or that works well with the theme of your celebrations.

Some people also attribute meaning to the amount of strings used in the cord. Based on Celtic folklore, multiples of three (3, 6, 9, or 12) are often chosen (although in some schools of thought, 7 is preferred).

Finally, many couples also opt to include charms or other decorative items in their custom design to let their cord tell the story of their relationship.

Sample Wording for Your Handfast

Opening Words

Dear friends and family, we gather today in the presence of love — to witness and bless the joining of two lives. The handfasting is an ancient tradition, symbolizing the binding together of two hearts, two paths, and two promises.

Explanation of the Tradition

In days long past, when a couple pledged themselves to one another, their hands were literally tied together in a gesture of commitment — hence the phrase 'tying the knot.' Today, this ribbon or cord reminds us that love is both freely given and intentionally bound — strong, flexible, and woven with care. The silken cords used to bind their hands together represents the gentle but powerful bonds of marriage.

The Handfasting

Will you now join hands? As your hands are bound, remember that these are the hands of your best friend — the hands that will support you, celebrate you, and hold you when life feels heavy.

Vows

I give you my hand, my heart, and my promise — to walk beside you, to honor and cherish you, and to untie every knot of fear with patience and love.

Blessing

May the ties of this handfasting remind you always that your love is sacred, and your bond eternal. As your hands are woven together, so may your hearts be united in strength, joy, and peace.